I met an anti-trumper last night, and it wasn’t intentional.  She’s actually someone I’ve known, but I wasn’t aware of her political views, nor her feelings regarding Trump.   She made them known when the topic of conversation touched on the President Elect, and then she left the room.  I couldn’t help myself.  My curiosity prompted me to follow.

I wanted…needed to understand.  I had been waiting for a chance, face-to-face, encounter with someone of her kind.  So I intended to use the opportunity wisely.

“Can I ask you a question?” I said.

“Sure” she answered.

“We don’t have to discuss this if it makes you uncomfortable, but I gather that you hate Trump and I’d really like to understand why.”

She began with his character and said she hates how he treats women.  She provided the lone example for her reasoning when she asked me if I had actually watched the video.

“What video?” I asked.

“The video which shows Trump walking up behind a woman and grabbing her crotch!”

I told her I hadn’t seen such a video, and asked her where I could find it, in case I wanted to watch.  She didn’t know, but she did know it was released 3 or 4 months ago.  And she added that he’s done that same exact thing to many women.  Stalked them, walked up behind them, and grabbed their crotches.

It took me a few seconds to speak because I was stunned into silence.   How very disturbing and scary it must be to think that we have elected a sexual predator.  I realized then that her head was so twisted, I may not be able to set it straight.

“I’m pretty sure you mean the audio, the one that aired a few months back.  We heard him having a private conversation with another man and they were discussing their prowess with women.  In it, he did say – he COULD grab a woman’s crotch.  He was pointing out an obvious fact; women throw themselves at him because of his status.”

She didn’t acknowledge what I said, instead she changed tactics.

“I’m gonna get real personal with you.  I’ve been at a bar when a man has done that to me.  He came up behind me and just grabbed my crotch!”

I understood.  She was victimized before.  She hadn’t moved past the feeling and remains victimized today.  So, it seemed the words grab and crotch will forever be directly linked to her experience.  Either that or she’s being dramatic and using an incident from her past as fuel for the fire.  Regardless I don’t respect either scenario.

I’ve been victimized a shit ton more than that.  I’ve moved on; left it where it needs to be, and became a survivor.  So the victim behavior doesn’t sit well with me.  Especially when someone clings to it – it’s not a life-preserver!  Cast it aside and learn to swim!

But I can already tell she won’t.  She’ll use her own personal evidence as the basis of her case while she spreads fear to other women.  And that’s a shame.  If she is still feeling victimized from an incident in her past she could heal by talking with someone about it.  But, if she’s using that incident as a weapon to fight her cause, that’s disturbing.

I’m grateful that I possess the knowledge and ability to see through the smoke and mirrors.  But it’s painful to know there are a lot of people who don’t.    It’s also painful to know, that she, a person who holds a degree – in social work, mind you, and engages young children every day, will not take the time to gather factual information before making her case.  I imagine gathering and processing evidence, must be important in her line of work.  I can only hope she does it thoroughly and without an agenda.